It Seems Like I’ve Lost It.
Life gives, and life takes it away. It sounds cliché but it is true.
Right up until the summer of 2022, I was writing like crazy. Since the Medium partnership program kinda took off for me, I started to consider this blog as my part-time job, and I strategically devoted 4 hours per day to writing. To be honest, I had a blast, and I truly enjoyed it.
Then in the spring, I enrolled in a beginner French course and started learning the language. My writing hours had to be split between French lessons and actual writing. More and more, I shifted towards French because it felt (and still feels) like something new, a fresh wave, an exploration, a venture into the unknown.
I realized that learning new languages makes me feel like a child again; familiar things once more get a fresh glow, and the world feels ready to be explored. It is hard to describe it with words, but it feels like being four or five again.
Plus, there is this gratifying feeling that comes with acquiring a new language; books, music, and videos that used to sound like gibberish are suddenly becoming comprehensible. Wow.
Then summer happened, the heat waves, the drought, and my struggle to resist it. After more than two years of the pandemic, this was the drop over the edge. I crashed. Physically and mentally. I had to seek help.
I had to book a vacation, no matter the cost.
After a week in the Canary Islands (and another six days of quarantine in Croatia), I feel refreshed. I regained my interest in photography, film, and design. It is basically all I can think about right now.
I spend hours each day watching videos on these topics. My massive collection of art and photography books is suddenly interesting again. Once more, I feel the emotions that I had forgotten entirely about; symbolist paintings or perhaps works by Anish Kapoor are no longer just inanimate objects but something profoundly moving and worth caring about. I can feel it again!
And, what is even more critical, I don’t want to be just a passive observer; I want to join the party and start creating these kinds of works myself. This is basically the…